Adjusting to expectations?

I see how people try to change for their loved ones. I respect the conscious effort they put into changing something that is inherent to them. I respect their love.

But all said and done, I don't think it's fair. I don't think needing to adjust to someone else's expectation of you is fair. Because you give away the most important thing in the world.

Being you.

There are so many people you meet, so many people you get close to, if you choose to adjust yourself according to most people you have met (or even just one person, doesn't really matter), answer me this, what's left of you, in you?

Don't change. Improvise. Evolve. Not because you want to fit into a bracket of someone else's expectations, but because you genuinely feel it's about time you worked on yourself.

I am not perfect, but neither are you. It's really just an entire universe filled with imperfect people. The only thing that differs is the level of imperfection.

Find someone that respects your imperfection.


"I know I am screwed up.. But you're pretty messed up too."
"Yeah, who am I kidding, we're both doomed.."

"Please", he said. "Please tell me you feel something".
She kept quiet.
"Please. Please. I am almost begging now".
She kept looking at the street behind him.
"Please tell me you feel. Something. Anything. Please open your heart to me."
And she kept thinking. Thinking of what would happen if she does open her heart to him. What if things don't work out. What if she loses him for worse. Is she willing to be so close to someone emotionally? So vulnerable to a person?

He kept staring at her. She kept staring at a clothes stall on the street behind his eyes.

"I can't read your mind. And I am exhausted. I am giving you 5 seconds to say something".

She looked at him. For the first time. Looked him in the eye. His impatient, tired, sad eyes. And she still kept thinking.

And he was gone
He left the country. He found someone else. Settled down. He's happy.

She's happy he's happy.
And she knows her over-thinking killed her a little inside that day.
He will never know what she felt. She is afraid she will never be able to feel the same again.
She has moved on. She laughs. She goes out. She has fun. She cries. She misses him.

You.

You are drenched in the first rain of winters, unprepared. You walk back to your house, wet, in search of that familiar ardor. You are looking for the warmth to save you from the chilling cold. You open the closet and pull out that crisp white shirt still smelling of your essence. The fabric eases your goosebumps on the skin and calms the chill that had set in the heart. This is what talking to you feels like.

You are running to catch a flight. You know you are stuck at the wrong signal at the wrong time. Everything seems to be going wrong. You are so sure you will miss that flight. You are so troubled that you could cry. You reach the airport and hit the check-in counter only to realize that the flight is running an hour late. You finally breathe and smile. This is what meeting you feels like.

You go back to the school and stand in the sports ground. You remember running that hundred-meter dash when you were so sure you’d lose. You remember missing the ‘Go’ signal and starting late. You remember watching everyone ahead of you. And you ran so fast that you feared your heart will explode in your chest. Eyes closed, all you remember is the thump of that beat. You remember collapsing on the finishing line and tasting mud and hugging the ground. You remember hearing that applause because you’d won. You raise your head in disbelief and open eyes wide in amazement of it all. You remember that taste of tears on your tongue. This is what dreaming about you feels like.

You take a long walk next to the beach and find a homeless dog. His eyes tell you that he is lost. You are tempted to adopt him but the right thing to do is to find his owner. You look around but the place seems secluded at the twilight hour. You take him home, give him food, and give him a name. You post his picture on Facebook, twitter but secretly hope that no one comes to claim him. You fall in love with that shiny-eyed canine just to get that dreaded call from his owner. The dog runs to his owner and turns back to give you that last look of “ I- love –you- but- I- can’t- stay- with- you”. Your heart melts but you let go with a smile. This is what staying away from you feels like.

Mostly conversations will oscillate between stories that are fragmented and stories that have no endings. You love the feeling of falling so much that you don’t mind falling into that bottomless pit. This is what being friends with you feels like.
And in middle of infinite conversations and interruptions, somehow, somewhere, you keep remembering that warmth of the shirt in the rain and feeling of running and joy of hope, the taste of tears and the shiny- eyes of a dog that never stayed with you. You remember all the realities and the parallel universes where you built stories. These stories stay as memories do. This is what missing you really feels like.

P.S. I did not write this. I am only sharing it because it's wonderful.

How to Not do well in a Job Interview.

1. Make a self-deprecating joke and laugh at it for about 5 minutes. Stop laughing and look sad.

2. Yawn when the interviewer talks about the company and look at him with a straight face.

3. Say that your weakness is ‘Working too hard..’. And then let out a small giggle.

4.  If the interviewer starts talking about himself, look up and start following the wings of the fan.

5. Keep a smile. ALL THROUGH THE INTERVIEW. When the interviewer gets confused and asks you why you are smiling, answer with a smile.

6. In case of a simulation exercise, start humming the tune of Zee Horror Show with wide eyes when the interviewer is narrating a critical problem scenario.

7. Keep looking at the watch and say, “Oh, don’t mind me, I might get my uncle’s inheritance anytime now!”.  Look vibrant with joy when you say that.

8. Scratch yourself.

9. Take out your hairbrush and brush your hair, while the interview is on.

10. Set your phone’s ringtone to ‘Die Motherf****r Die’. Keep it on Normal Mode.

11. Ask the interviewer for a ride back home after the interview is done.

12. Wear a sleeveless shirt and shiny leather pants. Arrive like a boss.

13. Bring your mother along.

14. Stalk the HR for two days after the interview.

15. Burp loudly and say, “Sorry, Beer”. Giggle like a small girl.

16. Wear Sunglasses. Snore every now and then.

17. Ask to use a bathroom. Come back after 15 minutes and say, “Sorry, Indian Food, I tell you!”.

18. Bring a photo album along. When asked about yourself, start sharing pictures of friends and family.

SO there we were, driving around in Bandra at 2 a.m when we saw this. 

-LOL- 

The writings on a clearly whitewashed fence of what looked like a posh building. This is why I love the drunken stupors in Mumbai. 

I NEED to know who did this, just so that I can applaud!

If any of you have a clue who it was, do tell!

Labels.

.

There is nothing worse than labelling a person. The problem with labels is that they put people in a bracket of assumptions, in a shell that they can't get out of. Labels are an outcome of ignorance. When something is beyond your understanding, how much easier is it to simply label the person than to find out why that person acts in a certain manner. It is the easy way out. And that is exactly why I dislike it. Once you label a person, nobody cares about the evidence of its validity. When you label a person, you scuff away any opportunity for them to rise above the expectation. If a woman is disgusted by a 'Woman in the kitchen' joke, she's a feminist; if a straight lady has gay friends, she's a fag-hag; if a person does not involve in outrageous acts, he's a loser; if a girl does not kiss on her 3rd date, she's a prude, if she dates a lot of men, she's a slut; if a man does not make a move on the first date, he's a coward.

How can we describe a person in just one word? People are complex, multifaceted. When you label a jar, you are preventing yourself from seeing a part of its contents. Likewise, when you label a person, you are only trying to find a way to not see the side of the person that contradicts your preconceived opinion. Because that takes you out of your comfort zone. It's a way to 'describe' a person in the manner that suits you best. How is that fair? 

Why assume there's only so much to a person? Why not take a chance and find out more? Why not remember, that everyone has the right to be exactly who they are?

Assume nothing. Labels are for objects, not people. 

Tumblr.

I joined.

http://whimsicalness.tumblr.com/

There.

Okay? Bye! 

Iron and Wine.

How the hell did I not find out about this band all this time?

HOW?

Best music I have heard in a while. A *very* long while. 

Here, I am attaching the links to a few songs so that you can hear 'em too. You won't regret it. 

Boy with a coin

Free until they cut me down

Flightless Bird

Fever Dream

I thank lord for this man's being.

Lost and found.

You know the saying, you don't really realise the value of something until you've completely lost it.

It is true alright.


I have always been the kind of person that does not sulk too much over losing things/people. One of my very close friend once told me that he is not sure how he feels about who I am.  He is confused whether he should be really happy about the fact that nothing bothers me so much, or just really worried about the fact that nothing bothers me so much. It bothers him that I can laugh and talk endlessly to people like nothing's wrong right after a big fight.

I think he will be very happy when he reads this post. If, he reads this post at all.

I have this sinking feeling in my heart like I have lost something. I can't really put a finger on it, but I know it's there. I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I actually feel something so strongly, and sad because it takes for me to lose something to have a feeling this strong in the first place.

I have a blank expression and a smile on my face, simultaneously. I feel strong, I feel suddenly weak. I laugh, I don't want to laugh anymore. I talk, I want to be left alone. I want a distraction, I want to be consumed by the thought.

I feel.. confused. And I'd like to believe that is good.

I am finally open to the possibility that there are things/people that matter to me. I may not care about it so much, because my intrinsic self is fighting it so strongly, but at the same time, I know I feel the loss. I feel the pain of losing. And more than anything, I am allowing myself to sulk over it without going "Man, this is bloody stupid!" in my head.

I think I am finally entering a new stage in my life. I am having an evolution, for the lack of a better word.
That being said, I am obviously going to laugh out loud and talk endlessly like nothing's wrong. I am just having an evolution, it's not like someone blew a new soul into me.
:)

I lost. I found.

When I turned 23.

My father and sister flew down from Surat and Bangalore, respectively.

I had seven people call me between 11:30 to 11:55 p.m. just so that they could be the first ones to wish me. KP was officially the first one to wish me. 

My Grad friends (Neha, Kushi, Ram, Ashish, Alkash and Nimish) came over with a cake at 12 a.m. which read 32 instead of 23!  Haw!

My Post grad friends (Neha, P2, Poonam, Aditya, Ankit, Rachita, Nishant, Shubhra, Aditya and Naman)  threw a surprise party for me, where they decorated the room with balloons and confetti. I felt like an eight year old, it made me very happy. : )

My good friend Aditya Pathare reached college early only to decorate the board of the class for me. 

My good friend Poonam took a good dose of yelling from me just to get me to her place (where my friends had arranged for the surprise)

My good friend Neha Dhanuka cooked brownie for me. It was way better than most sizzling brownies I have had.

My good friend Monu ran around on one of his bad days (LOL.. Aww..) so that I could get my birthday gift (a watch) on time. He got a gray dial instead of black. He thought it was a black dial, just a very shiny one. (Hahaha!)

My mom cooked for 12 people in half hour notice. 

My good friend Palki flew down from Chennai.

One of my friend gifted me a pair of Boxing Gloves.

I ate almost half a KG cake. 

I realised I am blessed with such wonderful people in my life.

I love love them all so much. 

: )

The L Word

This, this is one of the most powerful thing that I have heard on a T.V. Series (I am a T.V. Series addict, in case you already didn't know). I would curse myself if I didn't share it.

I am not implying anything against men. That being said, I suppose I agree with this, like most women (and some men who are not living in denial). 


I also understand that two people are capable of making each other better persons. But not this way, they are not.

There is sufficient use of explicit language. For those who dislike it, please stop now. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you later. 


[Mark tries to make amends after Jenny discovers he has been filming her and Shane on hidden cameras]
Mark Wayland: I wish so much that there was something I could do.
Jenny: No, I don't think there's anything that you can do. I think you did it. 
Mark Wayland: When I moved in here, I was the type of guy who was capable of doing shit like this. But I am not that guy anymore. I know that I've said it before, but you and Shane have made me a better man. 
Jenny: Oh, f**k off, Mark. It's not my job to make you a better man and I don't give a shit if I've made you a better man. It's not a f**king woman's job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some f**king man can evolve. 
Mark Wayland: That's not what I meant. 
Jenny: What the f**k are you talking about, then, Mark? You give me one reason why you think that I should forgive you. 
Mark Wayland: Because, Jenny. I made a big, big mistake. But from that I have learned how difficult it is to be a woman. 
Jenny: Ugh. Please. 
[Walks away] Mark Wayland: Wait, Jenny! Hey! Look at this! 
[Strips naked] 
Jenny: What are you doing? 
Mark Wayland: Is this what you want? 
Jenny: No. 
[Hurls a pen at him] 
Jenny: What I want is for you to write "F**k me" on your chest. Write it. Do it! And then I want you to walk out that door and I want you to walk down the street, and anybody that wants to f**k you, say, "Sure! Sure! No problem!" And when they do, you have to say, "Thank you very, very much." And make sure that you have a smile on your face. And then, you stupid f**king coward, you're gonna know what it feels like to be a woman.




- The L word. 

He.

He will give you strength when you feel weak. He will make you tea when you're sick, it will be terrible. He will make fun of you. He will laugh when others make fun of you. He will ask them to shut the hell up when it'll cross the line. He will get jealous when other men hit on you. He will flirt with other women in front of you. He will Never flirt with other women when you are not around. He will be your best friend. He will be your punching bag. He will patiently wait while you try on clothes. He will ask you to buy the first thing you pick. He does not care what you look like when you're going out for dinner. But when you do look good, it will show on his face. He will never cheat on you. He will give you all the respect you deserve. He is friendly to your friends. He is a son to your parents. He will not talk ill about you, whether you are together or not. He will not comment on the food you made when you are having it. He will tell you after 3 days how terrible it really was and laugh at you. He will Want to pay for you. He will let you pay if he knows it means that much to you. He will listen to your endless rantings patiently. He will leave you alone when you ask him too. He will not leave you alone if he knows you need him but your ego is giving you away. He will not let anyone hurt you. He will make you laugh on a rough day. He will laugh the loudest when you make a blunder. He loves his friends as much as he loves you, he needs you to understand that. He might not have a solution but he will listen to all your problems. He will drop you home when it's possible. He is much stronger than you are, but he will let you have your moments of glory.

He is a man. A Real Man. Nothing more, nothing less.

"I can't go there, I am wearing slippers, I will be the mad girl who fell off like crazy!"
He took off his shoes and held her hand. 
"There, now when you fall down, you'll take me down with you. So We'll be the mad people who fell off like crazy! Now just come already!"


"No one can talk to you like that, I mean don't get me wrong, you really are completely crazy and a huge pain in the ass, but only I am allowed to say that."

If you have him, you better keep him. You might never get so lucky again. 

She.

She will put the pieces of your life together. She will dust off your old dreams and make them shine again. She will nurse you like an angel when you are sick. She will keep you grounded. She will need you to reassure her. She will be your best friend's best friend. She will make you laugh on the dullest days. She will let you open the door for her. She will pay for her expenses. She will need you to fight for her. She will hold your hand when you're feeling low. She will leave you alone when you want to be alone. She will balance her family, friends, your family, your friends and you at the same time. She is the mother of your unborn children. She will stand by you when the world doesn't. She will make your bed when you are tired. She will wait for you. She will fight with you. She will fight for you. She will make up with you and let go. She needs to know you are sincere. She wants to know you care. She will laugh at your dumbest jokes. She will make fun of you. She will punch you. She will not let anyone else touch you. She will irritate you. She will correct you. She will tell you when you're wrong. She will fix your problems. She will do all the worrying for you. She will listen to you even if she is tired as hell. She needs you to listen to her when she's low. She will be your best friend. She will have a solution to all your problems. She is stronger than she seems.

She is a woman. A Real woman. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you know her, you must be crazy to not want her.
If you have her, you must be crazy to not respect her.
If you had her and you lost her, you must be crazy. Period.

Erm, what?

In Spain, during the celebration of the Catholic festival Corpus Christi, a man dresses up and jumps over newborn babies. 

Why? Why?... I have no idea. 

Nice of the parents of these little children to have Satan meet Elvis fly atop them. :/

ROFL

This is the message that I woke up to in the morning, from my good friend Sunny George. 
I was ROFL for quite a while.

Here goes:

This is what too much drinking leads to:

"I wasn't that drunk"
"Dude, you were in my pool trying to find Nemo."

"I wasn't that drunk!"
"You hit on your own girlfriend and asked is she was single.."

"Dude, I wasn't that drunk"
"You were arguing with yourself, over the phone and got upset when you hung up."

"I wasn't that drunk."
"You were in my closet yelling, 'Hey! Where the hell is Narnia?' "

"I wasn't that drunk.."
"You were throwing rocks at my cat screaming 'GO PIKACHU!' "

"Dude, I wasn't that drunk."
"You hugged a hobo with a white beard and cried, 'Yay Dumbledore, YOU'RE BACK!' "

(And this one's my personal favorite)

"I wasn't that drunk!"
"You gave a sock to a midget yelling, 'Take this Dobby, you're free!!!' "

xD

Share your jokes with me, I love love to laugh!
Later ya'll! 

People

The more people I meet, the more I realise that I prefer people who have a knack for crazy slash stupid slash trouble. The ones that are always sane and sweet make me uncomfortable, very. I like to believe that it is absolutely non-human to not have a bad side to oneself. I like to believe that even the happiest person, the kind that spurts rainbows every time he/she opens his/her mouth has moments when he/she would rather just take a chair and break it on the floor than sit and smile.

Honestly, I like to be mean at times, I am an occasional bitch and I don't mind admitting it. There are times when I feel angry and I blow off like Coke does when it meets Mentos. And I am not saying that I am proud of it, but I don't regret it either. I would rather be my crude self when I am upset than put on a facade.

I like people who do crazy things when they are upset. Who would call a bitch a bitch, who break heads when they are hurt. It makes them.. human.. alive. I like people who talk, who laugh at themselves and at someone who just fell down in a really crazy manner (even at the risk of looking mean), who get angry, who would call or text me at 2 in the night to tell me they hate me for having said something. I hold on to them, even if that means having a bumpy ride.

What I do not prefer are people who are safe, people who say exactly the things they know you want to hear, who do not laugh as much.

I like people who fight for what they believe in even if that means we have to deal with entirely different belief systems, I am afraid of the ones that don't challenge me, those who would accept everything that I say.

I have also come to realise that I don't enjoy the company of people who are (or who like to believe that they are) intense. And not the good kind of intense, the ones that are always gloomy and gray..I know a lot of people find it attractive but call me crazy, I just don't. It's a total turn off for me.

I like people who are frighteningly passionate about something, I am drawn to them like an ant to a big blob of sugar. At the same time, I like easy going people, who are opinionated, who have a free spirit and a mind of their own, who would fight more often than not, but who would also let go when they know it's their best option.

But then you know.. that's just me.
: )

Later ya'll!

Music, Again.

I am in Love with this song : Beautiful by Late night alumni.
You should listen to it too.

Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEBgl9B2G_8&feature=related

This song, it's a soul healer.
Tell me how you like it.

The most Challenging/ Awkward moments in (every)ones life.

When the remote control is just about 3 inches away from the point beyond which you humanly cannot stretch your hand without having to move your upper body.

Now this is really interesting, because people (you know, you and I) would rather watch the most torturous show on TV or shiver the whole night than stretch a little to reach the remote and change the god damn channel or switch the god damn AC off.  

When you are watching a movie with a friend (same sex, opposite sex, same difference) and a love making scene pops up. *awkward (in a high pitch)*. If you look at it, your friend might think you're a pervert, so you start looking around, at the wall, the painting on the wall that you never understood anyway, your toenails, the bird shitting right outside your window, the curtains, the Patterns on the curtains, your friend (who might just be looking at you *awkward*) and when you run out of all the things to look at, you start with the most random conversations.

"So, what are your plans after this?"

"So, finance haan.."

"Hey have you visited that store down the street, it's Awesome"

So you are all set to go to sleep, tucked in your blankets, found that perfect resting position and BOOM! You forgot to switch the lights off! Now, if you have had siblings, this is the point where most of the premature sibling animosity begins. And if you are having a sleepover, this is point where the weakest (physically and mentally) friend is discovered. You know, for all the other sleepovers and plans that will follow, for the rest of their lives... no I am just kidding... (or am I?).

That awkward moment when an acquaintance falls down in a really crazy manner in public and you can't control your laughter..

The awkward moment when you are staring at a professor with a stern face while your mind is in a parallel universe (Narnia? Hogwarts?) and the professor asks for your opinion and you have nothing to say plus a really confused look (the kind that dogs(or babies?) would have when they walk into a new street) because let's face it, you probably wouldn't even know what lecture it is if the professor had a bag covering his face.

The time when your friends try to set you up with a complete moron and you really don't know what to do when you are left alone with him/ her. That happened to me once, and I passed my time thinking about all the swear words my friend was going to hear later when I see him. An even more awkward moment was the realisation that I knew so many swear words. *opens a page of The Economist to feel better*

The time when your relatives are leaving and they give you a present and BOOM!, it sucks and you have to act all excited. Or when they give you an envelope and BOOM! 100 bucks..

Someone waves at you, you wave back, you realise they weren't waving at you, you quickly shift your gaze by about 1 inch and there is nobody else on that side of the road..you are waving at an empty car.. FAIL!

A really tanned person walks in to the room and you go, "Yo bitch you ORANGE!" in your head. And you let loose a laugh.. and then people stare at you and you say..  "It is hot outside, isn't it?" *erm..*

Tell me about your awkward/ Challenging moments! And here, not on Facebook!

Keep rocking ya'll!

P.S. What would be the only conversation between a rock and a ruler?

Ans: You rock, but I rule!

Gaah! Not funny at all!

EPIC FAIL!

Quotable Quotes from my Life - 2nd Edition.

In continuation with Quotable Quotes from my Life, on popular demand!

Oh alright, only a handful of people asked for it, but I like to show off that way!

Anyway. Here goes:

Avanika/ Me/ A: Can you imagine the amount of hairfall cave women must have had without them shampoos and conditioners and clean water supplies! Yikes!

Pavan: Hmm. I am not surprised. You totally  have a knack of grossing me out at times. 

A: No think about it, they had Nothing. I am surprised they had the appetite to make love and reproduce. How dirty would they be no? Plus, they descended from Apes, so hairy, eek!

Pavan: Thanks for painting that wonderful picture in my head. I can proudly say that you disgust me!

A: You're welcome. And oh, be a man!

Pavan: Grotesque filthy women shedding hair totally turn me off, thus I am a man. 

A: Oohh, someone got Thesaurus on their phone!

Pavan: Avan.. 

A: Gah, I have no mushy feelings for him, no.

Eshank : Avanika and Mushy feelings... Lions may start giving birth to Zebras from their a**h***, but Avanika and mushy feelings in the same sentence is just outrageous!

-----

Okay I just realised that could have sounded worse than I intended it to..

A : Are you crazy! It was hilarious! I am lmao!

A: Dude, so pissing off! One of these days, I will really punch you in the face!

Neha: Ladki is kamzor shareer pe mat ja, I am a Robocop from within! 

A: Hahaha, abey chal!

A: Yeah, we have all those CAs and CFAs..

Anurag: Okay, I know what CAs are, what the hell are CFAs?! Chartered Fu***** Accountants! 

Ismail : You know, till the time we have each other in our lives, we won't even give the others a fair chance.. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I am implying that you have others to begin with.

A : Really? In the middle of such a serious conversation!

Ismail: : D

A: I am watching Titanic.
Pavan: And why are you watching Titanic and probably crying your eyes out? Not to mention thinking about me!
A: Well Titanic, because it's on TV. And you, because you're always on a ship.
Pavan: Hmm.. Fascinating though. What could prompt a catastrophically emotionally deranged kid like yourself to watch such a romantic classic?
A: Haw. : (

A: Monu! If you piss me off one more time, kasam Ganga maiya ki, udhed ke rakh dungi!

Aditya: Paahahahahahahha! Where the hell did that come from!

A: Okay, let's go on the stage and look our calm, composed, sophisticated best. 

Benny : You have seven slides okay.

A:  Ai SHAPATH!! I thought there were three!!!

Benny : (Lhao) Okay seriously, where do these come from?!

A: Aaarggggh! Sasuri ka naati! De ghumaayikee!!!

Monu, Benny, Ashish - Avu!! What the!!!  *ROFL*

(As is tradition, I forgot to wish one of my closest friend Varun on his birthday. This conversation took place three months after I finally messaged him, needless to say he was really really pissed off. )
A: So how mad at me are you?
Varun: Can you measure such a thing? I don't know a proper unit to measure feelings.
A: Course you can! Do you want to throw coffee in my face, punch me, or throw a rock in my face?
Varun: None, it's okay. I'll never hit a woman. Even if it's You.
A: Touche.
Varun: I have a more easier weapon, indifference.
A: More easy"
Varun: Are you seriously correcting my Grammer right now?
A: Grammar"
Varun: Thanks for that! It was nice talking to you about such heartfelt issues after so much time!
A: Arrey senti mat ho yaar! Chal milte hain kal, teri birthday treat bhi toh baaki hai.
Varun: Dream on about the treat! DREAM ON!!

(Mangalam and I, discussing how we hate taking pictures.)

Megha - So Raghav, what profile of yourself do you like better? Left or right?

A (to Mangalam): I bet he knows the answer to that. 

Raghav: Left profile.

Managalam and I: Aha! *Hi5*

A: Let's go there na instead!
Kushi: No, we are not going there!
A: Aa aa ee, uu uu oh, mera dil.. na todo..
Kushi: Avi.. matlab..
A: : D


A - Dude, either I got that statement wrong, or you are a total Douche. 
Vishal - What the hell does douche mean?
A - Douche, as in douche, douchebag, pronounced as Doosh.
Vishal - I still don't know what that means. 
A - Lol, let's just leave it to that and stick to you being an ass, are we good? 
Vishal - Me an ass? You're mean.
A - Wtf! How demanding! Would you want to be a Thigh instead!
Vishal - Thigh! Oh F**k! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!

Madhavi - I have orange nailpaint! You want to see?

A: Yes!

*sends photo*

A: I've put red! Can you believe that!

Madhavi - I want to see!

*sends photo*

Madhavi: We are so weird... 

A: Hahahaha! Yeah!

A: I am really confused man! I don't know what to take up!
Pavan: You know what you will be really good at?
A: What?
Pavan: Manslaughter. : D
A: Yeah.. who are we kidding, I slice people.

Nimish and I, deciding between a golden neck-piece and a Grey one at a Hidesign Store. 

Nimish - Listen, the golden colour will rub off. 

A: Let's ask the girl there.

Nimish: She gets paid for saying nothing will happen to it, Ever!

A: Hey, is there a possibility for this colour to rub off?

Girl at the store: Ah, yes. But you, you can always go to the jewelery store and get it polished again!

Nimish: Is that right? And where should we take the grey one? TATA STEEL PLANT? 

How I met Ismails good friend Dhiren:

Ismail: Dhiren. this is Bitch, Bitch, Dhiren. 

A: Hey Dhiren, so nice to finally meet you! Asswipe has told me so much about you!

Aditya (a.k.a Monu): You know Avu, you really are one of a kind!

At sports bar:

Foreigner smiles at me, I smile back. He smiles again. 

Ismail: Yeh saale Firang! Aa jaate hain mooh uthake hamari ladkiyon pe line maarne!

(This goes on for about 10 minutes. Lots of hindi gaalis included.)

Foreigner: Excuse me?

Ismail (smiles): Yes?

Foreigner: Mereko hindi aata hai.

A: Bwwaaahahahahahahaha!

Pavan : What are you doing kid?
A: Kid hoga tera baap!
Pavan: And then you wonder why I call you kid!

KP: Isne ek baar mein baat maan li! Yeh hamari Avanika nahi ho sakti!


Anurag: Nayak nahi.. Khalnayak hun main!
A: ?

Neha: So much work man! My life is pissing me off!
A: There there.
Neha: Dude, kuch kar yaar! I need some gossip!
A: Hahaha! Me too!

(Right after Ismail punched a guy on the street)
A: Whoa! You are in a violent mood!
Ismail: Yeah, You should go.
A: What! Me? Why me?!
Ismail: Who do you think drives me the most crazy?
A: ....... ...... TAXI!

A: Okay, since we are going to be friends now, you should know, I can't make a decision. Cannot decide between two places to go, cannot even place an order from the menu!
Madhvi: Oh crap, me too!
*we walk into the ATM. I pool out money*
Madhvi: How much should I get? How much! How much! Where are we going? Should I take out 500? Or 400? Or more? Are we going to shop again? Tell no! 500 will do? Or 400? Or maybe a 1000 or something? I have to give you! And then if we go to sports bar?
A: 400! Just take 400!
Madhvi: But what if we shop again? Then I will have no money! Listen, tell me fast! Now you see just HOW BAD I am at deciding! Oh, no!
A: What?
Madhvi: I forgot to enter my pin..
A: That stupid ant from the screen bit me! :O
Madhvi: How the hell did it even reach your hand to begin with! :O

A: Listen! This was really not my fault!
KP: I am not saying it was your fault, I am just blaming you.
A: But why!
KP: I like to irritate you like that. : D
*punch*
KP: Ow! What was that for?!
A: I like to punch you like that. : D

Pavan: It's strange! I am really impatient these days! You sound like my mom!
A: That Is strange! Between the two of us, I am the impatient one and you are the one with motherly instincts!  Is everything okay? Are you eating and shitting alright?
Pavan: Yep, Sure I am. And thanks for making me sound so gay.

*After falling down three times in a row*
A: You should know, I am clumsy, I fall down a lot.
Megha: Oh, I noticed!


A: Listen, I am clumsy and I go mumbo jumbo on the road, so if I fall down in a really crazy manner and you keep walking like you don't know me, it's okay, really. Let's just decide where to meet after, say 5 minutes?
Madhvi: Haha! Shut up you idiot!

(My good friend Saurabh Todi a.k.a Todi almost got suspended from the college because he was caught playing with the planks on the camera by the construction department. After two hours of pure torture Todi walks into the class)
A: Ssup todi? How was your day? : D
Todi: Don't be mean okay.
A: Aw, okay.. I know just the right thing to cheer you up! Let's play cricket! I'll bowl, you can bat! Here, use this plank!
(Naman, Monu, Ashish and I - *ROFL*)
Todi: Go to hell guys!

The Bestie Code 3.

In continuation with:

Bestie code 1: On matters relating to Purchase Behavior
Bestie code 2: On matters relating to Sharing Behavior

Article C: On matters relating to Personal Relationships.

Section 1.
(i)  A bestie must never date her bestie's Ex-boyfriend/ crush, Boyfriend/ crush, Prospective boyfriend/ crush without her bestie's prior consent. If she does so, she is not protected for any violent behavior by her bestie as per the law(of bestie code)

(ii) Under the circumstances where the bestie is good friends with both Bestie and her boyfriend and where both are equally at fault, a bestie must always take her besties side.

(iii) A bestie must always say, 'Yes' to the question, "Was(Is) she(her bestie) with you?". She must then immediately call her up and find out where on earth she really is.

(iv) A bestie must always be prepared for getting fired by her besties mother. Note - 'With Partners in Crime, come Partners in Ass-whoop'

(v) A bestie must never try to be better friends with her besties friends.

(vi) A bestie must at least make 5 attempts to get along with her besties guy. If a difference of opinion still persists, she must never ask her bestie to choose between the two. Such behavior is regarded as abuse of power.

(vii) A bestie must never(even by mistake) try to sabotage her besties relationship. However, if the bestie has good reasons to believe that the guy is a tool, she can do so, within permissible limits.

(viii) In the event of a bad break-up, a bestie is allowed the beat the shit out of her bestie's ex.
A bad break can be defined as one where the boy cheated on her bestie and/or emotionally tortured her into breaking up with him.

(ix) A bestie could be a sister to her bestie's sister.

(x) A bestie must never get drunk/ go to movies with her besties boyfriend alone.

(xi) With respect to subsection (x), however, if the bestie has known this boy (and has been friends with him) since before the commencement of the relationship, she is allowed to do so, but must notify her bestie about the same.

(xii) A bestie must never cancel an already existing plan with her bestie, to go out with her boyfriend and vice versa.

(xiii) Finally, a bestie must always have a clear knowledge about the extent to which she can participate in her besties personal life to avoid any discomfort between the two.