Got this in the mail today. Makes up for one hell of a reading.

5 Minute Management Course:

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift..
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager..
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not..'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy..'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut.

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

I have decided to quit my job by the end of this month, officially. I love everyone in the team, but This is just not where I belong.

Missed fractions and accounts. Got to get back to where I belong.
But honestly, I couldn't have been happier about taking the job up in the first place. I know a lot of places where I lack, AND I realised, I am quite a 'keeping to myself when not in my age group' person. I used to find it really funny when all the sun sign theories would say that Virgos are shy by nature, I understand why, now.

I also realised that I like it when I am left to mind my own business and when I don't have to interact with team mates much. Not that I don't like them, but just because I don't like it if any one gets in my business. Like seriously, That totally pisses me off.

I also realised that we Do make friends at work. And the ones that stay around. I will miss catching up with Ismail and Sumit after work.

I will also miss all the lunch table discussions. I will miss Britannia.

I will miss the watchman uncle, the watchman guy and the pantry guys. They are all rockstars!

But, nothing over powers the fact that I will see the faces of my friends after a long while, have Saturdays off And maybe even study a while.

I am not mature enough to be working in media, not politically correct enough, not diplomatic enough, but heck, I don't even wish to be. Because then, that will not be me. It will simply be 'the girl who changed when she grew up and got a job'.

Change is nice, but I am not ready for it yet. I like being a kid, and I like it when it's okay to make a mistake and I like it when Neha and Kushi scream 'Kya hoga be tera!' and when Anurag slams the phone down in frustration (and then calls back :) ), and I like it when Ismail says, dude you are weird, obtuse and annoying, please don't Ever change, or I will kill you.


:)

Life's screw ups are so much harder to take when you don't know too many swear words..