The L Word

This, this is one of the most powerful thing that I have heard on a T.V. Series (I am a T.V. Series addict, in case you already didn't know). I would curse myself if I didn't share it.

I am not implying anything against men. That being said, I suppose I agree with this, like most women (and some men who are not living in denial). 


I also understand that two people are capable of making each other better persons. But not this way, they are not.

There is sufficient use of explicit language. For those who dislike it, please stop now. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you later. 


[Mark tries to make amends after Jenny discovers he has been filming her and Shane on hidden cameras]
Mark Wayland: I wish so much that there was something I could do.
Jenny: No, I don't think there's anything that you can do. I think you did it. 
Mark Wayland: When I moved in here, I was the type of guy who was capable of doing shit like this. But I am not that guy anymore. I know that I've said it before, but you and Shane have made me a better man. 
Jenny: Oh, f**k off, Mark. It's not my job to make you a better man and I don't give a shit if I've made you a better man. It's not a f**king woman's job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some f**king man can evolve. 
Mark Wayland: That's not what I meant. 
Jenny: What the f**k are you talking about, then, Mark? You give me one reason why you think that I should forgive you. 
Mark Wayland: Because, Jenny. I made a big, big mistake. But from that I have learned how difficult it is to be a woman. 
Jenny: Ugh. Please. 
[Walks away] Mark Wayland: Wait, Jenny! Hey! Look at this! 
[Strips naked] 
Jenny: What are you doing? 
Mark Wayland: Is this what you want? 
Jenny: No. 
[Hurls a pen at him] 
Jenny: What I want is for you to write "F**k me" on your chest. Write it. Do it! And then I want you to walk out that door and I want you to walk down the street, and anybody that wants to f**k you, say, "Sure! Sure! No problem!" And when they do, you have to say, "Thank you very, very much." And make sure that you have a smile on your face. And then, you stupid f**king coward, you're gonna know what it feels like to be a woman.




- The L word. 

He.

He will give you strength when you feel weak. He will make you tea when you're sick, it will be terrible. He will make fun of you. He will laugh when others make fun of you. He will ask them to shut the hell up when it'll cross the line. He will get jealous when other men hit on you. He will flirt with other women in front of you. He will Never flirt with other women when you are not around. He will be your best friend. He will be your punching bag. He will patiently wait while you try on clothes. He will ask you to buy the first thing you pick. He does not care what you look like when you're going out for dinner. But when you do look good, it will show on his face. He will never cheat on you. He will give you all the respect you deserve. He is friendly to your friends. He is a son to your parents. He will not talk ill about you, whether you are together or not. He will not comment on the food you made when you are having it. He will tell you after 3 days how terrible it really was and laugh at you. He will Want to pay for you. He will let you pay if he knows it means that much to you. He will listen to your endless rantings patiently. He will leave you alone when you ask him too. He will not leave you alone if he knows you need him but your ego is giving you away. He will not let anyone hurt you. He will make you laugh on a rough day. He will laugh the loudest when you make a blunder. He loves his friends as much as he loves you, he needs you to understand that. He might not have a solution but he will listen to all your problems. He will drop you home when it's possible. He is much stronger than you are, but he will let you have your moments of glory.

He is a man. A Real Man. Nothing more, nothing less.

"I can't go there, I am wearing slippers, I will be the mad girl who fell off like crazy!"
He took off his shoes and held her hand. 
"There, now when you fall down, you'll take me down with you. So We'll be the mad people who fell off like crazy! Now just come already!"


"No one can talk to you like that, I mean don't get me wrong, you really are completely crazy and a huge pain in the ass, but only I am allowed to say that."

If you have him, you better keep him. You might never get so lucky again. 

She.

She will put the pieces of your life together. She will dust off your old dreams and make them shine again. She will nurse you like an angel when you are sick. She will keep you grounded. She will need you to reassure her. She will be your best friend's best friend. She will make you laugh on the dullest days. She will let you open the door for her. She will pay for her expenses. She will need you to fight for her. She will hold your hand when you're feeling low. She will leave you alone when you want to be alone. She will balance her family, friends, your family, your friends and you at the same time. She is the mother of your unborn children. She will stand by you when the world doesn't. She will make your bed when you are tired. She will wait for you. She will fight with you. She will fight for you. She will make up with you and let go. She needs to know you are sincere. She wants to know you care. She will laugh at your dumbest jokes. She will make fun of you. She will punch you. She will not let anyone else touch you. She will irritate you. She will correct you. She will tell you when you're wrong. She will fix your problems. She will do all the worrying for you. She will listen to you even if she is tired as hell. She needs you to listen to her when she's low. She will be your best friend. She will have a solution to all your problems. She is stronger than she seems.

She is a woman. A Real woman. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you know her, you must be crazy to not want her.
If you have her, you must be crazy to not respect her.
If you had her and you lost her, you must be crazy. Period.

Erm, what?

In Spain, during the celebration of the Catholic festival Corpus Christi, a man dresses up and jumps over newborn babies. 

Why? Why?... I have no idea. 

Nice of the parents of these little children to have Satan meet Elvis fly atop them. :/

ROFL

This is the message that I woke up to in the morning, from my good friend Sunny George. 
I was ROFL for quite a while.

Here goes:

This is what too much drinking leads to:

"I wasn't that drunk"
"Dude, you were in my pool trying to find Nemo."

"I wasn't that drunk!"
"You hit on your own girlfriend and asked is she was single.."

"Dude, I wasn't that drunk"
"You were arguing with yourself, over the phone and got upset when you hung up."

"I wasn't that drunk."
"You were in my closet yelling, 'Hey! Where the hell is Narnia?' "

"I wasn't that drunk.."
"You were throwing rocks at my cat screaming 'GO PIKACHU!' "

"Dude, I wasn't that drunk."
"You hugged a hobo with a white beard and cried, 'Yay Dumbledore, YOU'RE BACK!' "

(And this one's my personal favorite)

"I wasn't that drunk!"
"You gave a sock to a midget yelling, 'Take this Dobby, you're free!!!' "

xD

Share your jokes with me, I love love to laugh!
Later ya'll! 

People

The more people I meet, the more I realise that I prefer people who have a knack for crazy slash stupid slash trouble. The ones that are always sane and sweet make me uncomfortable, very. I like to believe that it is absolutely non-human to not have a bad side to oneself. I like to believe that even the happiest person, the kind that spurts rainbows every time he/she opens his/her mouth has moments when he/she would rather just take a chair and break it on the floor than sit and smile.

Honestly, I like to be mean at times, I am an occasional bitch and I don't mind admitting it. There are times when I feel angry and I blow off like Coke does when it meets Mentos. And I am not saying that I am proud of it, but I don't regret it either. I would rather be my crude self when I am upset than put on a facade.

I like people who do crazy things when they are upset. Who would call a bitch a bitch, who break heads when they are hurt. It makes them.. human.. alive. I like people who talk, who laugh at themselves and at someone who just fell down in a really crazy manner (even at the risk of looking mean), who get angry, who would call or text me at 2 in the night to tell me they hate me for having said something. I hold on to them, even if that means having a bumpy ride.

What I do not prefer are people who are safe, people who say exactly the things they know you want to hear, who do not laugh as much.

I like people who fight for what they believe in even if that means we have to deal with entirely different belief systems, I am afraid of the ones that don't challenge me, those who would accept everything that I say.

I have also come to realise that I don't enjoy the company of people who are (or who like to believe that they are) intense. And not the good kind of intense, the ones that are always gloomy and gray..I know a lot of people find it attractive but call me crazy, I just don't. It's a total turn off for me.

I like people who are frighteningly passionate about something, I am drawn to them like an ant to a big blob of sugar. At the same time, I like easy going people, who are opinionated, who have a free spirit and a mind of their own, who would fight more often than not, but who would also let go when they know it's their best option.

But then you know.. that's just me.
: )

Later ya'll!

Music, Again.

I am in Love with this song : Beautiful by Late night alumni.
You should listen to it too.

Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEBgl9B2G_8&feature=related

This song, it's a soul healer.
Tell me how you like it.

The most Challenging/ Awkward moments in (every)ones life.

When the remote control is just about 3 inches away from the point beyond which you humanly cannot stretch your hand without having to move your upper body.

Now this is really interesting, because people (you know, you and I) would rather watch the most torturous show on TV or shiver the whole night than stretch a little to reach the remote and change the god damn channel or switch the god damn AC off.  

When you are watching a movie with a friend (same sex, opposite sex, same difference) and a love making scene pops up. *awkward (in a high pitch)*. If you look at it, your friend might think you're a pervert, so you start looking around, at the wall, the painting on the wall that you never understood anyway, your toenails, the bird shitting right outside your window, the curtains, the Patterns on the curtains, your friend (who might just be looking at you *awkward*) and when you run out of all the things to look at, you start with the most random conversations.

"So, what are your plans after this?"

"So, finance haan.."

"Hey have you visited that store down the street, it's Awesome"

So you are all set to go to sleep, tucked in your blankets, found that perfect resting position and BOOM! You forgot to switch the lights off! Now, if you have had siblings, this is the point where most of the premature sibling animosity begins. And if you are having a sleepover, this is point where the weakest (physically and mentally) friend is discovered. You know, for all the other sleepovers and plans that will follow, for the rest of their lives... no I am just kidding... (or am I?).

That awkward moment when an acquaintance falls down in a really crazy manner in public and you can't control your laughter..

The awkward moment when you are staring at a professor with a stern face while your mind is in a parallel universe (Narnia? Hogwarts?) and the professor asks for your opinion and you have nothing to say plus a really confused look (the kind that dogs(or babies?) would have when they walk into a new street) because let's face it, you probably wouldn't even know what lecture it is if the professor had a bag covering his face.

The time when your friends try to set you up with a complete moron and you really don't know what to do when you are left alone with him/ her. That happened to me once, and I passed my time thinking about all the swear words my friend was going to hear later when I see him. An even more awkward moment was the realisation that I knew so many swear words. *opens a page of The Economist to feel better*

The time when your relatives are leaving and they give you a present and BOOM!, it sucks and you have to act all excited. Or when they give you an envelope and BOOM! 100 bucks..

Someone waves at you, you wave back, you realise they weren't waving at you, you quickly shift your gaze by about 1 inch and there is nobody else on that side of the road..you are waving at an empty car.. FAIL!

A really tanned person walks in to the room and you go, "Yo bitch you ORANGE!" in your head. And you let loose a laugh.. and then people stare at you and you say..  "It is hot outside, isn't it?" *erm..*

Tell me about your awkward/ Challenging moments! And here, not on Facebook!

Keep rocking ya'll!

P.S. What would be the only conversation between a rock and a ruler?

Ans: You rock, but I rule!

Gaah! Not funny at all!

EPIC FAIL!

Quotable Quotes from my Life - 2nd Edition.

In continuation with Quotable Quotes from my Life, on popular demand!

Oh alright, only a handful of people asked for it, but I like to show off that way!

Anyway. Here goes:

Avanika/ Me/ A: Can you imagine the amount of hairfall cave women must have had without them shampoos and conditioners and clean water supplies! Yikes!

Pavan: Hmm. I am not surprised. You totally  have a knack of grossing me out at times. 

A: No think about it, they had Nothing. I am surprised they had the appetite to make love and reproduce. How dirty would they be no? Plus, they descended from Apes, so hairy, eek!

Pavan: Thanks for painting that wonderful picture in my head. I can proudly say that you disgust me!

A: You're welcome. And oh, be a man!

Pavan: Grotesque filthy women shedding hair totally turn me off, thus I am a man. 

A: Oohh, someone got Thesaurus on their phone!

Pavan: Avan.. 

A: Gah, I have no mushy feelings for him, no.

Eshank : Avanika and Mushy feelings... Lions may start giving birth to Zebras from their a**h***, but Avanika and mushy feelings in the same sentence is just outrageous!

-----

Okay I just realised that could have sounded worse than I intended it to..

A : Are you crazy! It was hilarious! I am lmao!

A: Dude, so pissing off! One of these days, I will really punch you in the face!

Neha: Ladki is kamzor shareer pe mat ja, I am a Robocop from within! 

A: Hahaha, abey chal!

A: Yeah, we have all those CAs and CFAs..

Anurag: Okay, I know what CAs are, what the hell are CFAs?! Chartered Fu***** Accountants! 

Ismail : You know, till the time we have each other in our lives, we won't even give the others a fair chance.. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I am implying that you have others to begin with.

A : Really? In the middle of such a serious conversation!

Ismail: : D

A: I am watching Titanic.
Pavan: And why are you watching Titanic and probably crying your eyes out? Not to mention thinking about me!
A: Well Titanic, because it's on TV. And you, because you're always on a ship.
Pavan: Hmm.. Fascinating though. What could prompt a catastrophically emotionally deranged kid like yourself to watch such a romantic classic?
A: Haw. : (

A: Monu! If you piss me off one more time, kasam Ganga maiya ki, udhed ke rakh dungi!

Aditya: Paahahahahahahha! Where the hell did that come from!

A: Okay, let's go on the stage and look our calm, composed, sophisticated best. 

Benny : You have seven slides okay.

A:  Ai SHAPATH!! I thought there were three!!!

Benny : (Lhao) Okay seriously, where do these come from?!

A: Aaarggggh! Sasuri ka naati! De ghumaayikee!!!

Monu, Benny, Ashish - Avu!! What the!!!  *ROFL*

(As is tradition, I forgot to wish one of my closest friend Varun on his birthday. This conversation took place three months after I finally messaged him, needless to say he was really really pissed off. )
A: So how mad at me are you?
Varun: Can you measure such a thing? I don't know a proper unit to measure feelings.
A: Course you can! Do you want to throw coffee in my face, punch me, or throw a rock in my face?
Varun: None, it's okay. I'll never hit a woman. Even if it's You.
A: Touche.
Varun: I have a more easier weapon, indifference.
A: More easy"
Varun: Are you seriously correcting my Grammer right now?
A: Grammar"
Varun: Thanks for that! It was nice talking to you about such heartfelt issues after so much time!
A: Arrey senti mat ho yaar! Chal milte hain kal, teri birthday treat bhi toh baaki hai.
Varun: Dream on about the treat! DREAM ON!!

(Mangalam and I, discussing how we hate taking pictures.)

Megha - So Raghav, what profile of yourself do you like better? Left or right?

A (to Mangalam): I bet he knows the answer to that. 

Raghav: Left profile.

Managalam and I: Aha! *Hi5*

A: Let's go there na instead!
Kushi: No, we are not going there!
A: Aa aa ee, uu uu oh, mera dil.. na todo..
Kushi: Avi.. matlab..
A: : D


A - Dude, either I got that statement wrong, or you are a total Douche. 
Vishal - What the hell does douche mean?
A - Douche, as in douche, douchebag, pronounced as Doosh.
Vishal - I still don't know what that means. 
A - Lol, let's just leave it to that and stick to you being an ass, are we good? 
Vishal - Me an ass? You're mean.
A - Wtf! How demanding! Would you want to be a Thigh instead!
Vishal - Thigh! Oh F**k! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!

Madhavi - I have orange nailpaint! You want to see?

A: Yes!

*sends photo*

A: I've put red! Can you believe that!

Madhavi - I want to see!

*sends photo*

Madhavi: We are so weird... 

A: Hahahaha! Yeah!

A: I am really confused man! I don't know what to take up!
Pavan: You know what you will be really good at?
A: What?
Pavan: Manslaughter. : D
A: Yeah.. who are we kidding, I slice people.

Nimish and I, deciding between a golden neck-piece and a Grey one at a Hidesign Store. 

Nimish - Listen, the golden colour will rub off. 

A: Let's ask the girl there.

Nimish: She gets paid for saying nothing will happen to it, Ever!

A: Hey, is there a possibility for this colour to rub off?

Girl at the store: Ah, yes. But you, you can always go to the jewelery store and get it polished again!

Nimish: Is that right? And where should we take the grey one? TATA STEEL PLANT? 

How I met Ismails good friend Dhiren:

Ismail: Dhiren. this is Bitch, Bitch, Dhiren. 

A: Hey Dhiren, so nice to finally meet you! Asswipe has told me so much about you!

Aditya (a.k.a Monu): You know Avu, you really are one of a kind!

At sports bar:

Foreigner smiles at me, I smile back. He smiles again. 

Ismail: Yeh saale Firang! Aa jaate hain mooh uthake hamari ladkiyon pe line maarne!

(This goes on for about 10 minutes. Lots of hindi gaalis included.)

Foreigner: Excuse me?

Ismail (smiles): Yes?

Foreigner: Mereko hindi aata hai.

A: Bwwaaahahahahahahaha!

Pavan : What are you doing kid?
A: Kid hoga tera baap!
Pavan: And then you wonder why I call you kid!

KP: Isne ek baar mein baat maan li! Yeh hamari Avanika nahi ho sakti!


Anurag: Nayak nahi.. Khalnayak hun main!
A: ?

Neha: So much work man! My life is pissing me off!
A: There there.
Neha: Dude, kuch kar yaar! I need some gossip!
A: Hahaha! Me too!

(Right after Ismail punched a guy on the street)
A: Whoa! You are in a violent mood!
Ismail: Yeah, You should go.
A: What! Me? Why me?!
Ismail: Who do you think drives me the most crazy?
A: ....... ...... TAXI!

A: Okay, since we are going to be friends now, you should know, I can't make a decision. Cannot decide between two places to go, cannot even place an order from the menu!
Madhvi: Oh crap, me too!
*we walk into the ATM. I pool out money*
Madhvi: How much should I get? How much! How much! Where are we going? Should I take out 500? Or 400? Or more? Are we going to shop again? Tell no! 500 will do? Or 400? Or maybe a 1000 or something? I have to give you! And then if we go to sports bar?
A: 400! Just take 400!
Madhvi: But what if we shop again? Then I will have no money! Listen, tell me fast! Now you see just HOW BAD I am at deciding! Oh, no!
A: What?
Madhvi: I forgot to enter my pin..
A: That stupid ant from the screen bit me! :O
Madhvi: How the hell did it even reach your hand to begin with! :O

A: Listen! This was really not my fault!
KP: I am not saying it was your fault, I am just blaming you.
A: But why!
KP: I like to irritate you like that. : D
*punch*
KP: Ow! What was that for?!
A: I like to punch you like that. : D

Pavan: It's strange! I am really impatient these days! You sound like my mom!
A: That Is strange! Between the two of us, I am the impatient one and you are the one with motherly instincts!  Is everything okay? Are you eating and shitting alright?
Pavan: Yep, Sure I am. And thanks for making me sound so gay.

*After falling down three times in a row*
A: You should know, I am clumsy, I fall down a lot.
Megha: Oh, I noticed!


A: Listen, I am clumsy and I go mumbo jumbo on the road, so if I fall down in a really crazy manner and you keep walking like you don't know me, it's okay, really. Let's just decide where to meet after, say 5 minutes?
Madhvi: Haha! Shut up you idiot!

(My good friend Saurabh Todi a.k.a Todi almost got suspended from the college because he was caught playing with the planks on the camera by the construction department. After two hours of pure torture Todi walks into the class)
A: Ssup todi? How was your day? : D
Todi: Don't be mean okay.
A: Aw, okay.. I know just the right thing to cheer you up! Let's play cricket! I'll bowl, you can bat! Here, use this plank!
(Naman, Monu, Ashish and I - *ROFL*)
Todi: Go to hell guys!